Tag Archives: Twitter

Soon-To-Be Roommates Already Confident That They Will Be Best Friends

THE INTERNET — Incoming freshmen Kerry Stahlin and Nicole Silva officially became roommates yesterday. Silva quickly accepted Stahlin’s offer to room together, a product of months of Facebook inbox flirtation. “Kerry is just so me. I feel like I’ve known the girl my entire life,” Silva explained. Although Stahlin and Silva have never met, their online communication clearly conveys that they are an undeniably perfect pair. The relationship began shortly after early decision letters were released. Silva messaged Stahlin in

ASG Thrilled that #ASG is Finally Trending on Twitter

EVANSTON — Due to Tuesday’s MLB All-Star Game, #ASG was a trending tag on Twitter. The Northwestern Associated Student Government said it was the greatest moment – literally the greatest moment, free of any controversy or procedural bickering – in the history of the organization. “We were ecstatic,” said Matthew Silver, ASG’s Vice President of Coincidental Social Media Publicity. “This is the kind of moment that my office, and all of Northwestern, has been waiting for.” The fact that the

Theater Major on Benghazi: “Totally as Bad as When Norbucks Put the Wrong Milk in My Latté”

EVANSTON — In our never-ending quest to promote justice through government transparency, The Flipside launched a special campaign this week to find out what Northwestern students thought were the biggest issues the global community faces today. While a stairway poop incident in the Bobb-McCullough dormitory was the overwhelming front-runner, fifteen of the five hundred students interviewed by The Flipside were familiar with the term “Benghazi.” At least four said they’d obtained information on the attack from sources other than Twitter.

Czech Republic Sends $2 Billion in Maps as Foreign Aid to Geographically Oblivious U.S.

PRAGUE, CZECH REP. — Czech Prime Minister Petr Nečas announced at a special press conference today that his government has decided to provide $2 billion worth of maps for the tragically geographically challenged U.S. schoolchildren. “We see it as a moral duty to extend a helping hand to countries whose education about the rest of the world has frozen in a woeful state. The least we can do is provide the necessary tools for the poor American kids to at

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