Bald Men Passing On Street Quietly Acknowledge Each Other
Multiple eyewitnesses observed the men exchange prolonged eye contact and a subtle nod as the sun glinted off their heads.
Monthly Archives: February 2018
Area White Guy: “I Really Liked Martin Freeman in Black Panther”
‘He definitely was the breakout performance. They should have given him a bigger role in the movie.’
Fraternity Elbows Way to Intramural Basketball Championship
The player of the game was sixth-year senior Blake Peters, who finished with 22 points, 8 rebounds, 14 elbows, and 6 shoves.
Ketchup on Toast Making a Comeback Among Recently Divorced Fathers
Experts say that this newfound popularity with recently divorced fathers has been the result of an increase in microwave ramen and Easy-Mac prices across the country.
Health Services Reminds Sick Students to Rest Up, Drink Water, and Cough in Mudd Library
Northwestern University Health Services sent out an email last Monday reminding sick students to rest up, drink lots of water, and cough extra loudly in Mudd Library.
Morty Plans Econ Professor Parade Down Sheridan Road
Morty will begin by sequestering all of NUPD (on and off duty) to blockade Sheridan from any traffic for one week before and after the parade
Despite Best Efforts of BLAST, White People Still Can’t Dance
“We tried, we really did,” said BLAST president Anita Quizphe, WCAS ‘18.
NU College Republicans Finally Recruit an Ethnic
The group has managed to expand their membership in the latest round of mid-midterm-season recruiting by an unprecedented three new members, only two of whom were Anglo-American.
Raccoons Break into Tasty Garbage with Their Little Hands
“They were so efficient, the little rascals! They picked everything up, just like a person! But with the tiniest hands…!”
Northwestern Ranked #5 for College Dining in Evanston
President Morton Schapiro, recently ranked “best current president of Northwestern,” told Flipside reporters after the dining hall report came out that he was happy to just be in the top ten for once.