Nate Silver Takes IHOP Server Opening
So far, IHOP executives are “excited to have him aboard” and describe him as doing a very good job.
Trump Generously Offers Clinton the Position of Secretary
The Trump transition team suggested that the job offer was Hillary’s biggest win since the popular vote.
Weed So Totally Legal, Dude
Mimsy, a fucking moron, agrees that weed lets people connect and try to get along.
Electoral College Hit with Title IX Violation
The Electoral College has been found to be in violation of several Title IX statutes regarding gender equality.
We Didn’t Prepare A Trump Article Because We Believed In a Benevolent God
Here at The Northwestern Flipside, we apologize for not having a Trump victory article, because we believed in a benevolent God.
AP Calls Illinois for Clinton Before Polls Even Open
“It’s the AP’s journalistic duty to report news when it happens or when we make it.”
Blackhawks Fans Furious Over Indians’ Mascot
Northwestern students have been very vocal about the horrific portrayal of Native Americans by the Cleveland franchise. Some of them are also die-hard Chicago sports fans.
Joe Biden Found Hiding Candy around West Wing for Next President
Biden explained it is the most important job he’s had as vice president.
Confused Freshman Searches for Food in Elder Dining Hall
Reportedly, a confused Sterling decided to start wandering through Elder Dining Hall under the mistaken assumption that there was food in Elder Dining Hall.
New ASG Senator Thinks He Can Make a Difference
“I’ve heard all about last year when they passed important resolutions on Sodexo and had a contested election; if that kind of stuff can happen, then surely ASG is a force to be reckoned with.”