A&O Ball Mosh Pit 90% Swaying, 10% Frat Boys Itching To Punch A Woman
“If I get arrested one more time, my parents are gonna cut my allowance to only 5k a month.”
Northwestern Student’s Unique Accommodation: “I’m Allergic To Any Dorms That Don’t Rhyme With Kincoln Or Lemper”
Northwestern prides itself on being very accessible and accommodating students’ needs, no matter what they are. However, one student’s recent accommodation has administration racing to research this unique condition. “I’m allergic to any dorms that don’t rhyme with Kincoln or Lemper,” a rising sophomore claimed. The student further explained that he needs to be placed in dorms that specifically fit this designation, or else there would be serious consequences. “I would probably spontaneously combust,” the student said, when asked what
Op-Ed: Bisexuals, Stop Dressing Your Boyfriends In Earth Tones, This Campus Looks Like Hobitton
To be frank, you need to let go of this aesthetic in your mind. Your man is not cottagecore, he is an engineer.
“The statue outside Patten Gym is hot,” says area woman whose vibrator has earned a first and last name
Let it be known that The Flipside is vocally For-Fapping.
University Wonders Why Students Didn’t Check Emergency Alert Posted To YikYak Immediately After Shooting
In a press conference, President Michael Schill expressed surprise at the criticism.
Hot Dog, Hot Dog, Hot Diggity Dog! Goofy Trapped In Industrial Oven At Keebler Factory
Goofy, the beloved ensemble member of Disney’s Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and various other properties, has been trapped inside of an industrial oven at the Keebler Factory. The titular performer and father of one called 911 at 8:32 A.M this morning, emergency services shared. This strange circumstance follows weeks of tension and political hostility in Florida, where Governor Ron DeSantis has attempted to uproot the Walt Disney Company by removing their tax exempt status and arresting a Stitch mascot, who was
Northwestern Baseball Team Realizes They’ve Been Holding Their Bats The Wrong Way After Twelfth Straight Loss
“…thin goes for the win.”
Top 10 Sexiest Food Mascots
The siren is the type of girl who stays awake long into the night for thought-provoking conversations, painting her feelings using ground coffee beans and lost dreams, and embarking on cannabis-infused sexual escapades. But be warned: you will probably have to go with her to the march to save fat squirrels, or whatever social justice crap she’s into that week.Â
Disney Adult Disaster: Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Scroogepublicans Suspend Two Daisycratic Representatives Over Mouseketool Protest Participation
“It’s not fair to think that taking away people’s rights to a Mouseketool is justified,” Scroogepublican Speaker of the House Cameron Pete said. “I mean, sure, they’ve led to the deaths of thousands upon thousands of both children and adults. But what’s that in comparison to sweet, sweet Benjamins lining my pockets? Those uppity Daisycrats should learn some respect for our fine governing body — and the financial benefactors whose gracious hand controls all policy.”Â
I’m Watching, I’m Learning, I’m Listening: My Thoughts on Cock Fighting
I learned about how cock fighters are often mistreated due to their profession, and are called hateful names like “abuser” or “clucker fuckers.