From the Author: Help, Please. Get Me Out of Here. I’m Stuck At This Permalink
God, what a strange week Iāve had.
Op-Ed: Iām Going to Live Forever. So Far, So Good.
After the insane number of Zoom lectures that I attended during Covid, I should have died of boredom long ago, but I havenāt.
Kanye Releases Donda 3 exclusively on Tooth-tunes
stated Ye in an Instagram caption. āIāVE PARTNERED WITH THE PEOPLE OVER AT TOOTHTUNES FOR AN EXCLUSIVE DONDA 3 LISTENING EXPERIENCE ONLY TO BE ENJOYED FOR 2 MINUTES TWICE A DAY.ā
DJ Moondog Sued By Estate of Famed Canine Cosmonaut Laika
āAs it stands, Moondogās face is a disgrace to the entire space race.ā
VeggieTales Officially Incorporated into Biblical Canon
Diehard supporters of the Eucharist reject the pious produce, claiming that the only food group that can be connected to God is flaccid bread.
From the Distant Archives: Landmark Moments in Scientific History (Vol. II, Edition 3):can i eat tihs cactis
Use old, ancient wisdum [sic] of 20 suncycle [sic] on mothr [sic] Urth [sic] and smarts for smart thing, ask queschun [sic]: ācan i (Borbra Smartbrain Elder Sciencer) eat tihs cactis?ā [sic]
Op-ed: Regular Social Media Doesnāt Fuel My Superiority Complex Anymore, So You Can Now Only Find Me on Goodreads and Letterboxd
Itās important to me that when people stalk me on the internet they think āWow, I bet she really understands the importance of symbolism,ā and āDo you think she actually followed what was going on in āInception,ā because it kind of seems like it?ā
From the Archives: Imhotep Chalamet Looked Sooooo Toned at the CowMonkeyTurtleDragonfly Awards
āThe scarab-beetle black of the tunic really made his pale, malnourished face pop.ā
Will Smith Announces It Was ACTUALLY the Gemini Man Who Slapped Chris Rock
āThat Gemini Manās been after my skin ever since we finished filming, but I never would have thought heād hit Chris Rock while I was practicing my acceptance speech in the bathroom mirror,ā Smith said.
Gunna Announces Kidney Stone Diagnosis, to Take Hiatus from Pushing Pee
āI canāt do this pushinā P shit anymore, man,ā the āLemonadeā rapper lamented through tears via Instagram Live earlier this morning. āAll I can get out is blood and little rocks, and the whole time it burns like hell – this aināt P, dude. Like, literally. Look at this. Does that look like P to you?.ā