Air-Drying Freshman Maybe A Little Too Confident
âTowels are just so constricting, you know?â Stevens told the Flipside while sitting naked in a lounge.
Author Archives: Flippy
Classes Cancelled as Morty Loses Key to Northwestern
âThis definitely isnât the first time Morty has had to cancel class due to his forgetfulness. One day during my sophomore year, we couldnât have morning classes because Morty forgot to wake up the professors.â
Primal Scream Occurs Early This Year on National Boyfriend Day
The police report revealed countless moans of varying pitches and intensities accompanied by loud banging around 9 PM on Tuesday.
University Renames North and South Campus as Left Brain Campus and Right Brain Campus
âWho are we fooling with this âone cohesive campusâ bullshit?â, added an anonymous tour guide.
Diversity TND Teaches White Jewish Freshmen from the Chicago Area Theyâre Not Alone
Morty: âWe have students from more Chicago suburbs than ever before; as a matter of fact, we only took 40 kids from ETHS this year!â
Happiness Club Stresses No Experience Necessary
Sophomore Brandon Wong says that heâs looking forward to another year and encourages students to give it a shot, even if joy âisnât really their thing.â
Civil Engineering Students Finish Sheridan Construction in Cocaine Bender
âStraight lines of paint are much harder than straight lines of coke, yâknow? I think we nailed it, though.â
Freshman Sees God through Complimentary Cru Glasses
âThe sunglasses definitely drew me in, but then I was being asked if I wanted a personal relationship with God in order to rid me of my sins, and I thought, âwhy the hell not?ââ
Sophomore to Redirect All Questions About Her Summer to Her Instagram
An overly nonchalant caption, exclusively in lowercase letters and overwhelmingly blasé, follows each post.
Ask Flippy: At What Point Should My Taxi Driverâs Yelling âSHIT SHIT SHITâ Be Concerning?
Currently, he is yelling frantically into his Bluetooth in fast-paced Spanish, interspersed with the occasional âSHIT SHIT SHITâ as he pounds the dash. Should I be worried?