Breaking: Red Line Has Declared Independence
āAll these people wearing powdered wigs got onto my train car and just started debating and writing on some scroll of paper.ā
Author Archives: Flippy
Hairball in the Communal Shower to Lead Conference on Diversity, Equity and Inclusion
One committee member spent 69 hours weighing the pros and cons, and literally weighing the hairballs themselves, to determine the leader of the conference.
Ancestral Ojibwe Call for End of Land Acknowledgements: “We Don’t Want Anything to Do With This Football Team.”
After Northwesternās humiliating loss to Southern Illinois University, the Ojibweāno longer wanting to associate with such an embarrassment of a football teamāpulled out from their weekly game-time land acknowledgment. A land acknowledgement, recognizing the ancestral land upon which a particular activity or sports event takes place, is typically conducted at halftime during Northwestern football games. Vice President and Associate Provost for Diversity and Inclusion and Chief Diversity Officer Dr. Robin Coleman spoke out regarding the confusing omission at Saturdayās game.
Op-Ed: (Sneaker Head Perspective) “Why Would I Wear a Condom? That Would Crease it!”
3 hours later she pulls up in her ā11 Ford Focus RS and parks behind my momās Sienna. I let her in, and we sit down on the OFF-WHITE x IKEA couch. Iām playin bass stems off Donda 2 from my Kanye West Stem Player; just straight up babymakin music to get my girl HARD.
Op-Ed: Iām Going to Live Forever. So Far, So Good.
After the insane number of Zoom lectures that I attended during Covid, I should have died of boredom long ago, but I havenāt.
Will Smith Announces It Was ACTUALLY the Gemini Man Who Slapped Chris Rock
āThat Gemini Manās been after my skin ever since we finished filming, but I never would have thought heād hit Chris Rock while I was practicing my acceptance speech in the bathroom mirror,ā Smith said.
Gunna Announces Kidney Stone Diagnosis, to Take Hiatus from Pushing Pee
āI canāt do this pushinā P shit anymore, man,ā the āLemonadeā rapper lamented through tears via Instagram Live earlier this morning. āAll I can get out is blood and little rocks, and the whole time it burns like hell – this aināt P, dude. Like, literally. Look at this. Does that look like P to you?.ā
Northwestern To Cancel Aggressive COVID Countermeasures, Will Instead Impose Economic Sanctions
Figora and Northwestern are not afraid to stand down in the face of danger
Op-Ed: Just Asked My Landlord to Increase My Rent. That’s How Much I Believe in My Grind
Each month, I will use my superb shut-up-and-grind capabilities to find different means of making up the extra rent. By July, I will have acquired thousands of new skills and g-g-g-g-god-like entrepreneurial savvy, the likes of which no Kellogg professor has ever encountered.
Michael BublĆ© to drop ten-minute version of “Santa Baby”
BublĆ© bares all with fans, expressing wishes likeĀ āa multi-seasonal careerā.