Local Man Makes it Almost Too Clear That He is Not Wearing Pants On Zoom Call
His classmates described this confession as “jarring,” “unnecessary,” and to some, “inspiring.”
Category Archives: Archives
Professor Who Talks about Bridgerton in Class Has Not Gotten to the “Wildest Dreams” Sex Scene Yet
Bennett can only cringe in embarrassment knowing that while her professor loves Daphne’s character arc in the first few episodes, she will soon watch the protagonist cum in two minutes with zero foreplay.
FDA to Approve Vaccine in Fun, Kid-Friendly Flavors Such as “Tootie Fruity Immunity”
“Desperate times call for desperate measures,” admitted Anthony Fauci in a joint statement with FDA director Stephen Hahn. “We’re not proud to be using Juul’s playbook, but damn, if they didn’t have a move or two in there.”
Quiz: Are You Named Steve?
Steve, baby, you can’t have completely forgotten about the day we had together.
New Study Shows Over 200% of Northwestern Students Ignore the “One Book” Emails
“Such emails serve absolutely no purpose, other than reminding the majority of students how shitty they are for not reading whatever book it was that they were supposed to.”
Ask Flippy: How Can I Love Myself If I’ll Never Be as Pretty as the 500 Degrees Pizza Crust?
It stares at me smugly, knowing it single-handedly motivated me to seek CAPS.
Ask Flippy: The Econ bro I hooked up with requested me on LinkedIn, what should I do?
What should I do? I didn’t even know I had a LinkedIn.
BREAKING: Instead of CTECs, Northwestern Students May Now Rate Classes by Selecting One of Dante Aligheri’s Nine Circles of Hell
“My econ professor gave us an assignment to freeze for all eternity,” remarks an anonymous sophomore.
Area Man Has Only Two Dimensions, Cannot Interact With Space and Time As Intended, Ceases To Exist Immediately
“Why would something like this happen to someone so normal?”
Seventh Grade Social Studies Teacher Who Said “I’ll Wait” in 2012 Reportedly Still Waiting
“It’s not bad at all,” she said. “I haven’t talked to my husband in almost a decade, and I’m growing hair out of holes I didn’t even know I had. So I can’t complain.”