Movie Mishap: Jason Deruloâs Penis Accidentally Edited into Every Shot of Little Women
âTom was very clear: we are keeping Mr. Deruloâs digital penis saved just in case.”
Category Archives: Entertainment
Fueled By Mango Vodka And Room-Temp Lean Cuisines, Junior Writes The Next Great American Novel
Matthew Steinway, a junior majoring in Creative Writing, has written the next great American novel after a 76-hour writing session fueled by mango-flavored vodka and microwavable Lean Cuisine meals. With baggy eyes and jittery hands, Matthew tells the Flipside, âThe writing I produced during the session will be regarded as the literary event of the millennium. It is an anti-war, anti-capitalism, both pre- and postmodernist hodgepodge that explores the deepest roots of what it means to be human, as well
Dorm Room Party Just Six Guys Playing A âBop-Itâ
âI think I misunderstood when he told me it was âgonna be a bop,ââ said Mendoza, âthey were all really into it too. When I tried to leave, one guy put his hand on my chest and told me âdonât stop the bop.â”
From the Archives–Op-Ed: Charlie Chaplin should Stick to Silent Movies, Keep his Political Views out of Talkies
This film is his first âtalkieâ and boy does he talkie a lot.
Margot Lee Shetterly Cancels Campus Visit After Admitting She Didnât Read Hidden Figures
âI didnât know if I was really supposed to read it or not.â Shetterly said. âBut then I started getting more and more emails about it towards the end of the summer and I kinda freaked out, so I decided to just not read it. Also, since when are books like 200 pages?â
Mayfest Secures Duolingo Bird as âEthnic Openerâ for Dillo
âFrom day one, we wanted to create a Dillo Day for everyone,â said Bailee
Golden, Mayfestâs Diversity and Inclusion chair. âHaving the multi-lingual Duolingo owl as our âethnic opener,â if you will, is going to ensure that this Dillo isnât just for privileged English-speakers.â
Write-in Vote for Bruce Curlee, The Chicago Metropolitan Area’s Fourth Best Mick Jagger Impersonator, Goes Unheard By Mayfest
âI just canât get no satisfaction,â says the impersonator who vaguely resembles Mick Jagger.
Report: Your Mayfest Friend Quiet All of a Sudden
In situations where she might find herself saying, âyouâll never guess whoâs going to be on the Main Stage this year!â or âGuys, I have literally wanted a Ferris wheel on the Lakefill since I was born,â she now just stands there without making a peep.
Mayfest: “We’ll Just Throw Drunk People in the Lake, OK??”
âAfter the event, we can just take a big net and scoop everybody into it. Just grab each personâs Wildcard information and send them home.”
A$AP Greg to Replace A$AP Ferg At Dillo Day
After it was announced yesterday A$AP Ferg would no longer be able to attend Dillo as he mourns the passing of his pet chihuahua Philip, a replacement was quickly found in rising rap sensation and Northwestern Physics Professor Gregory Smithson, better known by his stage name A$AP Greg. A$AP Greg was born on the mean streets of Wilmette, Illinois, is a divorcee with two adult daughters Julia and Kristin and drives a 2006 Toyota Corolla he calls Linda. Greg is