Local Perv Excited For Mosquitoes To Suck Him This Spring
One uncomfortably-mustachioed student, however, looks forward to something a little different: the onset of mosquitoes sucking fluids from his body.
Category Archives: Featured
Student Who Tried Water Infused With Every Fruit That Went Bad In Plex Releases Memoir
Within the past two weeks, Ramos’s memoir has overtaken the previous local bestseller entitled How To Major In Theatre And Not Be A Loser: The Meghan Markle Story.
Bobb Resident Develops Superpowers After Showering Without Shoes
Bobb resident Sean Heckerson has acquired the ability to transform into a radioactive stink bug by using sheer willpower.
Casual “How’s Life?” Cuts Way Too Deep
WCAS junior Keith Primis was found deeply traumatized Friday afternoon after a casual greeting from a former member of his PA group.
Bernie Recruited to Olympic Track Team after Proving Unending Passion for Running
“Bernie has been running across the country for years, and as far as we can tell, will run until he dies.”
Bradley Cooper’s Girlfriend to Release Sequel: “A Star is Sleeping on the Couch Tonight”
The film will reportedly feature an extremely remorseful Bradley Cooper attempting to win back his “very beautiful” girlfriend after running off with, in Shayk’s words, an “untalented, meat-dress wearing diva.”
Fatal Accident After Professor Assigns ‘Headshot’ to ROTC Instead of RTVF Student
“I also told him to ‘shoot quickly’ because the camera was low on battery, but I guess he misinterpreted that part, too.”
Professor Takes 15 Minutes To Play A Movie Clip In Lecture After Nobody Volunteers As The “Computer Person”
In a far from unprecedented move, Professor Irene Teck spent the first 15 minutes of her 50 minute lecture struggling to play a movie clip after no student was willing to offer their assistance as the “computer person.”
Student Makes Slightly Too Self-Deprecating Joke, No One Laughs
“I don’t know whether it was the timing, or the wording, or the fact that Eric’s grandmother just died, but for some reason, me ironically mentioning my desire to ascend from this mortal plane wasn’t well-received,” said the student at the heart of this unprecedented development, who wishes to remain nameless.
Flipside’s Guide to the Oscars
This guide is guaranteed to help your impress your pretentious RTVF friends and possibly make a lot of money betting big in Vegas!