Frat House Starting to Feel Like Frat Home
“As time went on, the constant drunkenness and mild-homoeroticism really made me feel comfortable.â
Category Archives: Local
Student Uncertain About Halloweekend Dates Drinks for Two Weeks Straightâš
Costumes reportedly included timeless classics such as a slutty devil, slutty cat, and slutty alien, but also included throwback outfits like slutty â80s workout instructor and topical statements such as a slutty absentee ballot.
Raising Prices 3.6% Only Business Strategy Taught in Kellogg
âI think the 3.6% strategy really synergizes the business ownerâs desire to make money and impoverish millennials.â
MTV to Feature Lincoln Dorm on New Episode of âMTV Cribsâ
It was only after receiving an email from Northwestern president Morton Schapiro offering the production company a look into Northwesternâs new five-star rated housing that Diaz knew the new season would be a success.
Area Nudist Dresses Up for Halloween
âUsually I just put a napkin on my pecker to make it look like a ghost, but this year the community is expecting something more,â Scoggs explained to the press.
Morty Still Waiting for Class of 2021 to Venmo Him for Hamilton Tickets
After waiting a year for the Class of 2021 to get back to him, Morty Schapiro publicly announced this week that he is still waiting on each and every one of them to Venmo him for the Hamilton tickets from last year. âListen, I thought I was very clear in how this deal works,â stated a very disgruntled Morty, âI get the tickets, and you guys just Venmo me back the full $200 for your own. Our school is in
Morty Embroiled in Scandal After Cheating During Game of Guess Who
A rule breach in a game of Guess Who could result in Moriarty Schapiro going on a long time out, or even getting grounded for a few days.
Mysterious âCreature of the Lakefillâ Revealed to be Morty Night-Swimming
âI didnât want to frighten anyone. I just like playing around with the ducks.”
Dining Hall Now Offers a Slap Across Your Fucking Face With Raw Chicken Breast
The move comes after the new dining service Compass merged with PĂŒnchindafĂ€ce™, a transnational Swedish corporation that fuses gastronomic arts and sadomasochism.
English Major Contemplates Symbolism of Soaked Frat Basement Walls
âIf these walls could talk, I bet theyâd be telling us that itâs okay to cry sometimes.”