Plex Dining Halls to Redecorate Walls with Tildes, Umlauts
The RHA stressed that the beloved periods, often mistaken for polka dots, will still have a meaningful presence.
Category Archives: Articles
Elder Freshman Doesn’t Rush, Faces Isolation
“I’ve never really been into the whole Greek Life scene,” says Horowitz, wincing slightly at hearing his own voice for the first time in days, “so yeah. I didn’t rush. Everyone else did. I enjoy the silence.”
Mick McCall Surprised to Learn He Not Defensive Coordinator
McCall, who’s in his eighth season with Northwestern, has consistently worked hard to limit yards gained and points scored.
REPORT: Grandma Doesn’t Trust “The Asians”
“They’ve got a real shady look about them, you know what I mean? Their eyes are just…” she paused to stretch the skin around her own eyes outwards and demonstrate her point.
BREAKING: Jewish Mom Pesters Son
He recalled being assaulted by questions regarding his grades, workload, sleeping and hygiene habits, as well as concerns over getting into a good medical school.
How to Celebrate a Non-Denominational Reading Week
One person’s devout library pilgrimages certainly differ from another’s five-day festival of intoxication.
Uncle A Little Too Interested In Your Hookups
Throughout Thanksgiving dinner, your uncle repeatedly led the conversation back to your fall quarter hookups, asking questions that nobody at the table wanted to hear.
Freshman Returns to Find Room has Been Turned into Sex Dungeon
After years of what Turman’s mother referred to as “boring, missionary sex,” she was finally ready to “take off the mom jeans and put on the edible underwear.”
Area Freshman Goes Home, Feels Smart Again
As she packed her bag to return to her rural Wisconsin home, sources report that she confided to a friend that she “feels insanely stupid” at Northwestern.
Willie the Wildcat: I’m William Now
“I felt that all the running on the football field and high-fiving everyone in sight was just a bit too childish for me. I believe it’s time to focus on more serious things.”