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Category Archives: Sci/Tech

NRA Denounces 3D-Printed Guns as Deadly, Free

May 15, 2013 Andrew Schneider Leave a comment

NASHVILLE, TN — NRA Executive Vice President/Walking Effigy Wayne LaPierre took to the stage today to thoroughly denounce the recent spate of “3D-printed” guns as irresponsible, deadly, and a major unchecked threat to the security of his end of year bonus. Speaking to a rapt, ravenous audience of gun owners who seemingly didn’t have anywhere else to be on a Monday afternoon, LaPierre framed the plastic, largely-untraceable devices (which could become increasingly problematic as the price of 3D printers drop)

Market Research Suggest Mentioning Social Networking Sites Increases Traffic; Facebook

February 10, 2013 Brian Lee Leave a comment

SEATTLE, WA — According to new market research, web contents containing mere references to social networking services generate more traffic and are more likely to go “viral.” Twitter. Lance, Quarts & Associates, a market research firm based in Redmond, Washington, recently published the findings based on a year-long study which tracked online behaviors of 20,000 randomly chosen internet users. Pinterest. The study finds that webpages that contain references to social networking services increase overall website traffic by 34.2 percent and

No One Claims Free $300 Gift Card; QR Code Only Way to Access Prize

February 8, 2013 Brian Earl Leave a comment

MINNEAPOLIS, MN — A local internet start-up, Business Organization, Ideas, Solutions, and Energy, last week launched a marketing campaign that BOISE President and CEO Mark Thompson could only describe as “a complete and utter failure.” Thompson, whose company strives to provide “strategies, tips, and directions” to improve the efficiency and productivity of businesses worldwide, said his Marketing Intern, Billy Keyman, came up with the idea of giving away a $300 Amazon.com gift certificate as a way to drum up business.

MTV Hopes to Smarten up with New Show, “16 and Pregnant with Caveman”

January 30, 2013 Casey Kendall Leave a comment

NEW YORK — When George Church, a geneticist at Harvard Medical School—a small medical training facility in Massachusetts—first announced that he was looking for volunteers to be impregnated by a Neanderthal embryo constructed from DNA ripped from bone fragments, he was cautiously optimistic that someone would step up. But it soon became clear there were no takers, and Church was about to call the whole thing off. Enter MTV, formerly known as Music Television. An MTV representative contacted Church last

Read more Entertainment, No. 99, Sci/Tech

Area Man Defriends Facebook “Friend” on Friend’s Birthday

January 19, 2013 Brian Earl Leave a comment

MILWAUKEE, WI — Milwaukee native George Waterson defriended his Facebook friend David Debbleby Monday night. Monday was Debbleby’s birthday. “I really don’t like David,” said Waterson. “I had actually forgotten we were still Facebook friends, but I guess he was just hidden from my newsfeed.” The two became Facebook friends in 2007, when both men were in the same group for a high school English project that involved a computer slideshow presentation, a speech, a short written report, and the

Social Media Savvy Students Look for Job Availabilities

January 9, 2013 Noah Rawitz Leave a comment

EVANSTON — With annual winter job and internship fairs approaching, many Northwestern students are crossing their fingers in hopes that their “social media skills” will be as highly sought-after as that one article they read on Forbes a month ago reported was a possibility. “I’m a social media expert,” said Weinberg junior Justin Thomas. “I am proficient in Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Tumblr, and now SnapChat.” According to a recent career services survey, over the past year many formerly undecided undergrads

Top 10 Rejected Handles for the Pope’s Twitter Account

January 7, 2013 Alex Finkelstein Leave a comment

VATICAN CITY — Pope Benedict XVI recently entered the Twitterverse with the twitter name @pontifex. The question remains: how did he choose this handle? The Flipside has received, from an anonymous papal butler, an exclusive list of the final candidates that didn’t quite make the cut. Here are 10 handles that the Pope unfortunately didn’t pick. Maybe they were already taken – the list did not specify, and we were too lazy to look it up ourselves. 1. @infallableoopsimeantinfallible 2.

Comments That Didn’t Make it Through Our Spam Filter

November 26, 2012 Brian Earl Leave a comment

Here are some of the recent comments that were blocked by the Flipside’s Uber Cyber Killer Spamfilter (no acronyms please).

Creepy Friend Request Guy Actually Requesting Kidney, Nbd

May 16, 2012 Rachel Beal

SILICON VALLEY, CA — In a press conference last Monday, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced several new updates to the timeline template, the most noteworthy being a new feature which indicates whether or not the user is an organ donor. “Eighteen people around the world die each day waiting for a heart, liver, or kidney transplant,” said Zuckerberg in a press conference, “and by adding this new feature, I hope to change that. Kind of like Bono and…AIDS, right? Bono

[Graduation Issue] Study: 50% of Graduating Seniors Already Alcoholics

May 9, 2012 Andrew Schneider

“The real world is gonna hit these poor schmucks like a sack of bricks,” Shamberg noted, sneaking sips from a hip-flask between questions.