Putin Responds to Bidenās Murder Allegations by Buying Him
Tension has been brewing between these two leaders for awhile, and not the ideal kind.
Tag Archives: Russia
DJ Moondog Sued By Estate of Famed Canine Cosmonaut Laika
āAs it stands, Moondogās face is a disgrace to the entire space race.ā
Trump Apologizes for Mistreatment of Elizabeth Warren, Admits He Was Wrong
Trumpās speech has been widely regarded as a shining example of political decency and civility. Many are also applauding his masterful turn of phrase and elegant use of language in his speech.
Model UN Report: Russian Federation Gets First-Ever Handjob from Mexico
“Neither the size of Powellās dick in particular nor the horniness of the Eastern Bloc ambassadors more generally should take away from our efforts to provide security and prosperity to the world,ā the high school senior said.
Russian Hackers Successfully Log in to Caesar
The hackers were reportedly able to breach Caesarās state of the art security measures to check their financial aid statuses, sign up for classes, and print their unofficial transcripts.
International Skating Union to Replace Figure Skating Judges with Bond Henchmen
“Have you seen Skyfall? No KGB, not even mention. No cabbage for my little girls. Now, I make Mother Russia happy, my girls get cabbage and no one dead. Perfect,” said Ilya Vladikov, a former KGB agent who now works as a freelance filmmaker/assassin.
France Accuses Russia, US of Cheating; Awarded Gold Medal for Tattling
“The United States is not, has never, and would never cooperate with the Russians on awarding each other higher scores. We would consider conniving with the Germans or Canadians, but we asked them and they refused.”
Americans Smugly Note US Still Better Than Russia
“It’s just amazing that the Russians still can’t get the easy things right,” said Jim Kelley, a Denver Broncos fan who spent three hours stuck in Secaucus Junction following the conclusion of the Super Bowl.
[Roaring ’20s Issue] Gary Saul Morson to Join USSR Studies Department
EVANSTON — Northwestern University announced yesterday the hiring of a new USSR Studies professor, Gary Saul Morson. āWe are pleased to be adding this brilliant, up-and-coming scholar to our faculty team,ā said President Walter Dill Scott. Morson, who was born in 1895, received his Ph.D. from Yale last year before, purportedly, teaching in Pennsylvania. Safely within Cook County lines, Morson confessed to The Flipside that his job there was only a cover for his true mission: finding communist spies. āItās
Palin Suffering from Post-Election Tourette’s Syndrome
JUNEAU, AKāAlaska Governor and former Vice-Presidential Candidate Sarah Palin is suffering from Post-Traumatic Election Touretteās Syndrome, say doctors at Juneau Central Medical Center. The Governor was rushed to the hospital from her hometown of Wasilla on Wednesday, January 28th and has been observation ever since. āI saw her walking down the street, and went over to give her a hello, and all she could say was āMaverick maverick 9/11 terrorist Joe sixpack.ā I was so confused,ā said Wasilla resident and