If everyone sees you staring at my butt, they’ll know I’m on my period and that would obviously be the worst possible thing to happen to me or anyone in the history of time for reasons I’m unaware of, but I’d for sure have to drop out of school, so can you please just do this for me?
I’m just looking for a valid, down-to-earth betty who can hold my hand, both at Naturdays with the boys and on the campaign trail. Everyone knows you’re a stronger candidate with some hot wife material behind you. Plus, I still haven’t found anyone who’s willing to lay out my clothes the night before like my mom used to do – and also kiss me with tongue the way I hope my mom never does.
As someone whose celebrity crush is Flynn Rider—in his animated form, not like a human-version—I can kind of understand the Bitmoji appeal. But I can’t handle that little bitch being hotter than me, so I need your input.
Never fear! Many authors who know nothing about women have written pages and pages about them.
Um anyway I was just thinking about The Dark Knight. It’s such a classic and Gary Oldman is so sexy
But what’s even crazier is that it seems like my work is at its peak when the coughs around me are particularly nasty. Or in simpler terms: the wetter the better!
You fucked up. You really fucked up.
“You and all our readers know that I take a particularly hard stance on crime — more specifically, that it’s often the best way to make some good of a bad situation!”
All you need is a couple extra straps (courtesy of Pitney Bowes) and a plastic knife from the dining hall to carve out a hole for the head.
“At first, I didn’t mind, since I’m tremendously committed to school spirit.”