Professor Recognizes Student’s Canvas Introduction from Tinder Bio
âHere for a long time, not a good timeâ
Category Archives: Local
Ask Flippy: Why does my mom still take baths with me? I would much prefer we shower.
“Over the last thirty years, itâs gotten to the point where I canât take it anymore.”
Only Late-Night Texts Area Woman Getting Are From Color
âI got a text from Color last night saying âWhat that mouth do?ââ
Guy that Just Ghosted You Actually Taking Time for Himself, And Also For His Ex
âI think I really just needed some alone time,â says Adam Ghoul, standing outside of his ex-girlfriendâs apartment building.
What Ho! A Dame Hath Initiated Courtship!
After using your scholarly advice of presenting her with my own kerchief, I roused up the manly courage to tell her that I found her to be one of the most vexing maidens I hath laid mine eyes upon.
Local Econ Bro Implodes After Being Asked âWhy Canât We Just Print More Money?â
The Evanston Fire Department arrived on scene immediately after Martin literally erupted in flames.
The Flipside Guide to: staying humble when you single-handedly put your entire hometown back in quarantine
No matter the slack you get from the Moms of Springfield Facebook group, donât stop partying!
Sad White Guy Has a Guitar and is Making it Everyone’s Problem
“Campus police have had to confiscate or outright destroy over 70 acoustic guitars in the name of aural preservation.”
Breaking: President Schapiro Allows First- and Second-Year Students to Visit Campus Once âAs a Treatâ
âAll first- and second-year students can come visit campus once this winter, if they want,â said Schapiro. âYou know, as a treat.â
Report: Bryan from Econ Doesnât Like Halloween âAs an Institutionâ
âYouâre not a sexy cat, or a sexy maid, or a sexy bottle of Suave Men 3 in 1 Citrus Rush Shampoo, Conditioner and Body Wash. Youâre just your sad little self, and that should be enough.â