Ask Flippy: Kamala Harris Ghosted Me on Wednesday Morning After I Sent Her $100. Am I Being Too Eager?
I was so excited to finally have a threesome with Joe and Kamala!
Category Archives: Year 15
Pulled-Over Driver Coolly Plays Off Shitty Driving Ability: “I was just a bit drunk, officer”
“You see, cops, they’re never really looking to arrest anyone—so you just gotta play it cool if you get approached by one,” Driver claimed, while sitting in a holding cell at the local police station.
Rogue Engineering Professor Found Tampering with Bikes of Students who Failed Midterm
e wanted to display real-life consequences to the unfortunate students who bombed last week’s midterms. Groppenheimer claimed that he proved these students unfit to study engineering because “If they had learned anything from my class, they would’ve been able to fix the bikes.”
Ask Flippy: (From Math Student) Where On Canvas Are These Taylor Series Due At Midnight And Why Do I Need Apple Music To Solve It?
I tried asking what sort of problems they were talking about but they just told me I was the problem? That I was some sort of anti-hero? Do they mean antiderivatives? I’ve also been checking the announcements on our math canvas page but all I see is the professor posting the homework due four months from now and seven messages about the TA changing his office hours.
Ten Halloween Costumes That Will Only Get You Canceled on South Campus
4. Fossil Fuel and Fracking Rig
Divest from YOUR morals tonight, as long as you stay north of Tech. Pro tip: crude oil makes for a fantastic waterproof eyeliner.
From The Archives: Oh, Foul, Oh, Cruel! Ten Homesteads To Avoid This Hallow’s Eve (For They Giveth Gruel)
Take a risk, and eat your fear, but know your early death lies here…
Northwestern Football Spends $10 Billion On Performance-Enhancing Drugs For Players, Still Can’t Seem to Win
Northwestern Football Spends $10 Billion on Performance Enhancing Drugs for Players, Still Can’t Seem to Win
Ask Flippy: How Does Sprite Cranberry Affect LeBron’s Legacy?
Anyways, to finally answer your question, I don’t know what LeBron would be without his staple commercial for Sprite Cranberry. His acting performance for that ad alone puts him up there with the likes of Leonardo DiCaprio, Denzel Washington, and Harry Styles. It truly made LeBron into what he is today, and we should all be eternally grateful for it. Frankly, it was a cultural reset, and that’s that. Glad I could be of assistance. Actually, before I go, I think it’s about time I ask YOU a question. So, I’ll leave you with just this one quick query: Wanna Sprite Cranberry?
Chicago-Area Adult Happy Meals to Feature Slightly Used Carburetor, Malört Shot
“I can flip this shit no problem. But I’m saving the Malört shot for the goddamn Bears game.”
Unintelligible Numbers In Water Bottle Filler Screen Actually Ancient Hieroglyphics Leading to the Holy Grail
“Who cares about the environment?!” he shouted from his hospital bed. “I’m trying to save all of humanity!”