When asked what the origins of her prejudice were, Smith said sheâs always thought this way but did let slip that her mother ran away to be a groupie of the Blue Man Group when she was 13 years-old.
âFree speech white college kids may strive for, but much larger problems there are for us green-folk. Yes, hrmmmm.â
âLet this be a warning to all other lawless individuals looking to steal fruit from our dining halls,â Ellis continued. âYou have nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. We will find you, and we will stop you.â
âWhen I was checking the app on my lunch break, I noticed Dobyâs yak had received so many upvotes in so little time. This meant it was serious, so I put my top investigator on the case right away,â Eddington said.
Before leaving, she informed her floormates that her door was unlocked so they were welcome to go in and get some of her momâs âfamous peanut butter cookies.â
The Titonka Fire Dept. was called to George, 64, and Helen, 62, Reynolds’ home late Saturday evening to extinguish a small fire in the coupleâs backyard. The fire is thought to have been set by misguided youths.
EVANSTON — Police officer Bob Hankervich went to the frat quad this previous Saturday night to investigate reports of underage drinking. As he walked up the stairs to the frat in question, Tappa Tappa Keg junior George Kerry got ready to deny another dweeb. The cop approached Kerry assuming he would step aside, but instead he stood firmly in front of the door and offered a “what’s up bro?” with an introductory head nod. According to Northwestern Police records, Hankervich
LOS ANGELES, CA — Following a sprawling, state-wide search for former policeman and army reservist Christopher Dorner (in which the alleged killer is believed to have perished in a cabin fire) anxious LAPD officers opened fire on a pot roast in a butcherâs display window that officers mistook for the former suspect. Despite firing over 50 shells at the pre-cooked beef dish, officers did not manage to hit their target once, instead injuring 10 customers deeper within the shop. Thankfully,
EVANSTON â Following assignment postings for EPD and campus security personnel in anticipation of 2012 Dillo Day events, Evanston police officer Eric Mills, 29, expressed regret that he would not be stationed at the Lakefill for the Reel Big Fish performance. âI mean, yeah, Cold War Kids are alright and all,â Mills reportedly told his supervisor, âbut Cheer Up! was one of my favorite albums back when I was in college. And I canât think of any better way to
ââWhatâs the worst that could happen? One week from now Iâll be in Cabo working on my tan. I just feel I owe this department one more round of duty, you know?â