Though Joshua was ultimately grounded, it seems this incident may have created a future comedian.
Category Archives: Local
Women’s soccer is now insisting upon real cleats in lieu of university-issued stilettos.
ETHS Soccer Moms Disappointed To Learn The Facebook Group They Joined Is Actually A Northwestern “Me-me” Page
“The woman I thought was Danica, the bitch who brought GMO orange slices to practice last week, revealed herself to actually be some guy from Northwestern.”
Northwestern Students across campus seem to agree that while the punishment is harsh, it’s the only way to get the basketball team to stop losing.
Nunez has been ramping up her efforts to appeal to students in preparation for spring quarter, reportedly concocting a weekly drinking game/kahoot to help bring the students of the dorm together.
“My mother always told me that the final determines your grade,” claimed Harrison. “Class attendance, homework, and midterms are pretty much inconsequential.”
It remains unclear whether ASG’s new measure promotes accessibility, inclusion, or both accessibility and inclusion—but either way, it marks a huge step toward wellness and sustainability and equity.
Greg Arridal announced that he was partnering with Morty Shapiro to start accepting Dining Dollars at his store and within the same day, every student had burned through all their dining dollars, and Arridal went out of stock within 3 hours.
One uncomfortably-mustachioed student, however, looks forward to something a little different: the onset of mosquitoes sucking fluids from his body.
“You’re totally allowed to leave whenever you want. But don’t you dare try it.”