Man in Shorts Seen Crawling to Class with Dignity in Shambles
Nathaniel Bittingerās parents were killed by a pair of jeans.
From The Archives: An Op-ed: Why Do Our Croquet Players Get Donkeys To Ride Around Campus? They Are Dreadful!
They are a plague on this campus – the likes of which have never been and will never be seen again.
Groundhog Day to be replaced with Morty Day where he pokes his little head out of his house
āPlus, this really isnāt so differentāMr. Shapiro nibbles on sticks with the best of āem.ā
Pete Davidson’s Pull Game Simply Threatens The Chad Dominated Status Quo
He might live with his mom, but he also lives in your girlfriendās dreams.
Ask Flippy: How Do I Convert The Shepard Egg Chairs Into Sex Swings?
All you need is a couple extra straps (courtesy of Pitney Bowes) and a plastic knife from the dining hall to carve out a hole for the head.
Op-Ed: My Parents Announced their Divorce, but it’s a Bones Day? A How-to on Navigating Noodleās Wicked Ways
After reaching out to the pug, who refused to comment, I sat under a tree for 49 days, wailing and tearing my hair, until I reached enlightenment.
Op-Ed: I Just Wanted to Echo What the Other Op-Eds Have Already Said
“Piggybacking off of that, I just think the way they phrased it was really well. Well-phrased. Which time?”
Review: Dune (2021) Not At All Like Ladybird (2017)
Now, was either film actually any good? Was one better than the other? Iām not sure.
COVID test burglary results in one swab for everyone to share
In the aftermath of the theft, the one swab, dubbed āOle Faithfulā, could be found lying underneath the ransacked shelves of its fallen brethren.
Local Mobster Can’t Believe You’re Asking Him If He Stole 4,500 COVID Tests On The Day of His Daughter’s Wedding
āAuthority. Betrayal. And super-spreader events.ā