Ask Flippy: What if President Blank’s Lawn isn’t Large Enough to Protest On? What if Her Windows Shut and Her Doors Lock??
Plus, old white people love their lawns, and I’ve heard that garden gnomes make for great projectiles.
Category Archives: Featured
In the Name of Political Correctness, Joe Biden Refers to the “Humanitarian Crisis in Yemen” as the “Humanitarian Crisis in Yepeople”
“I call on every patriotic American to recognize that the plight of the people of Yepeople.”
5 Group Costumes Your Friends Will Try To Rope You Into And 20 Slightly Different Ways to Say “Haha Maybe….”
For every “guys, how about sexy anti-vaxxers?” there will always be a “lol I don’t know maybe lol.”
Local South Campus Man’s Legs Too Thin, Gangly to Walk All the Way to Tech
Passersby described him as “pathetic,” and having “limbs that look like a strong breeze could either break them or just blow them off altogether.”
Damn It! Kickass Sermon Rudely Interrupted by Rapture
The small mayonnaise boy ascended right out of the pastor’s skillful fingertips.
Ask Flippy: My Boyfriend Won’t Stop Screaming U Rah Rah! During Sex, How Do I Make It Stop?
“At first, I didn’t mind, since I’m tremendously committed to school spirit.”
University Answers Mental Health Pleas, Hands Out Adult Coloring Books, Gold Star Stickers
“I wouldn’t have minded more Kleenex, and maybe a little bit of Prozac, but I can’t complain.”
Morty Transfers Power to Rebecca Through Passing of Ceremonial Anti-Protester Fire Hose
After all, any NU student worth their salt knows the old adage: “more hose, more woes.”
Heartbreaking! Hot Guy in Your English Class Caught Pulling Down Mask Not Actually Hot
“Ladies, take him swimming on the first date so you can see what he looks like without a mask.”
University Rolls Out Squid Game-Style Competition to Secure Spot on CAPS Waitlist
“We’re eliminating so much more than just students,” one local administrator explains. “We’re eliminating the stigma around mental health here on campus. We’re doing real work here.”