Morty To Become Fourth Jonas Brother In Order To Reduce Debt
At press time, Morty had reportedly compiled a list of potential stage names for himself, with the frontrunner being âMo Jonasâ.
Category Archives: Featured
Company Behind âImperfect Fruitâ Releases Follow-Up Product: âRude Riceâ
Imperfect Produce, the company that saved millions of fruits and vegetables that donât conform to traditional fruit beauty standards from a life in a landfill, is back again with a new product. The company announced the release of âRude Riceâ earlier in the week. âOur new Rude Rice may not be as friendly as your average rice but we can guarantee that it tastes just as good!â said Imperfect Produce CEO Ginny Rice. However, those who have purchased Rude Rice
On International Womenâs Day, Boss Made Sure to Call female Co-workers âSweetieâ to Let Them Know How Valued They Are
On International Womenâs Day, local boss Mitchell Dawson made sure to call his female coworkers âsweetieâ throughout the day.
RA Not Here to be the Fun Police
Nunez has been ramping up her efforts to appeal to students in preparation for spring quarter, reportedly concocting a weekly drinking game/kahoot to help bring the students of the dorm together.
Jesus Cancels Another Reunion Tour
While Jesus was unavailable for comment, as he has been for the past two millennia, Pope Francis released a statement on his behalf.
Student Comforted by Fact that a 107% on Final Can Save Her Grade
âMy mother always told me that the final determines your grade,â claimed Harrison. âClass attendance, homework, and midterms are pretty much inconsequential.â
ASG Builds New Ramp or Something
It remains unclear whether ASGâs new measure promotes accessibility, inclusion, or both accessibility and inclusionâbut either way, it marks a huge step toward wellness and sustainability and equity.
Hollywood Not Yet Sexist Enough, Plans To Release â12 Angry Womenâ About A Dozen Jurors With Synced-Up Cycles
âFuck you, Sheila, I can write women,â
Evanston Liquor Store Owner Who Accepts Dining Dollars Becomes 4th Richest Man on Earth
Greg Arridal announced that he was partnering with Morty Shapiro to start accepting Dining Dollars at his store and within the same day, every student had burned through all their dining dollars, and Arridal went out of stock within 3 hours.
Nick Jonas Recieves Wedding Bill, Immediately Announces Return of the Jonas Brothers
As any divorced couple knows, a wedding isnât all fun and games though. It is only natural for a couple to look at the mountains of food, hordes of dancers, and thousands of invitations–and then immediately look to their bank statements.