Bobb Resident Develops Superpowers After Showering Without Shoes
Bobb resident Sean Heckerson has acquired the ability to transform into a radioactive stink bug by using sheer willpower.
Category Archives: Featured
Casual âHowâs Life?â Cuts Way Too Deep
WCAS junior Keith Primis was found deeply traumatized Friday afternoon after a casual greeting from a former member of his PA group.
Bernie Recruited to Olympic Track Team after Proving Unending Passion for Running
“Bernie has been running across the country for years, and as far as we can tell, will run until he dies.â
Bradley Cooperâs Girlfriend to Release Sequel: “A Star is Sleeping on the Couch Tonight”
The film will reportedly feature an extremely remorseful Bradley Cooper attempting to win back his âvery beautifulâ girlfriend after running off with, in Shaykâs words, an âuntalented, meat-dress wearing diva.â
Fatal Accident After Professor Assigns âHeadshotâ to ROTC Instead of RTVF Student
“I also told him to âshoot quicklyâ because the camera was low on battery, but I guess he misinterpreted that part, too.â
Professor Takes 15 Minutes To Play A Movie Clip In Lecture After Nobody Volunteers As The “Computer Person”
In a far from unprecedented move, Professor Irene Teck spent the first 15 minutes of her 50 minute lecture struggling to play a movie clip after no student was willing to offer their assistance as the âcomputer person.â
Student Makes Slightly Too Self-Deprecating Joke, No One Laughs
âI donât know whether it was the timing, or the wording, or the fact that Ericâs grandmother just died, but for some reason, me ironically mentioning my desire to ascend from this mortal plane wasnât well-received,â said the student at the heart of this unprecedented development, who wishes to remain nameless.
Flipside’s Guide to the Oscars
This guide is guaranteed to help your impress your pretentious RTVF friends and possibly make a lot of money betting big in Vegas!Â
Gambling Club Runs out of Funding, But They Donât Have a Problem, Damnit
âLook, itâs just a bit of bad luck, but when the water levelâs low, you know the tidal wave is coming soon. We just need like $500 spotted and this club will pay out, guaranteed,â reported club president and failing statistics major, Bobby Fletcher.
Photo Captioned âIf You Know, You Know,â Actually Ploy to Pretend Something Happened at Party
After reviewing the footage, Porter discovered that someone brought an apple to the party.