Morty Sends Mass Text: âPull up 4 vaccine, $5 for dudes, ladies free all nightâ
âI got a vaccine plug from a buddy of mine in Kappa Delta Moderna, and I was just looking to get lit, get wild, and vaccinate some shawties,â
Category Archives: Uncategorized
Jousting Club Endorses J&J Vaccine: âOne Jab Shall Do It!â
âToo long hath these Pfizer and Moderna knaves parried with the virus. They flash thine fancy swords and dance around in thine gilded boots, but those swineâs art COWARDS. Sir Johnson shall end it all in a single blow!â
Insider Report: MTV Launches âShrink Rap,â A New Reality Show Following Kanye Westâs Therapist
Good news! This week, MTV launches a reality series following Kanye Westâs therapist, giving fans a sigh of relief after despair following the Kimye divorce announcement. The show, aptly named âShrink Rapâ follows Westâs therapist Dr. Shakur, a man adamant that he is not in fact Tupac in hiding. As a longtime friend of Kanye West, or Kanye as he lets me call him, I was able to interview Dr. Shakur under one condition: Kanye would accompany me. The notes
Quiz: Are You Named Steve?
Steve, baby, you canât have completely forgotten about the day we had together.
Seventh Grade Social Studies Teacher Who Said âIâll Waitâ in 2012 Reportedly Still Waiting
âItâs not bad at all,â she said. âI havenât talked to my husband in almost a decade, and Iâm growing hair out of holes I didnât even know I had. So I canât complain.â
Local Woman Swears Her Zoom Crush âRadiates 6â1â Energyâ
“You know, like, how heâs so tall and sheâs so short that it looks like heâs going to develop chronic back issues from having to stoop down to kiss her? Thatâs what I want.â
The Flipside Guide to: staying humble when you single-handedly put your entire hometown back in quarantine
No matter the slack you get from the Moms of Springfield Facebook group, donât stop partying!
Tim and Moby of BrainPOP Officially Come Out As Gay
The public response appears to be mostly positive. The LGBTQ+ community has been quick to embrace this advancement of relations between machine and man, hailing it as âthe Third Industrial Revolutionâ.
Flipside Investigation: Democracy Watchdog Ranks Among Us Above the United States in List of World’s Most Functioning Democracies
I took it upon myself to travel to The Skeld to investigate just how good of a democracy they have.
Biden Mocks Trump Who âProbably Isnât Getting Laid At Allâ In Quarantine
âI really feel for Olâ Donald during his period of isolation. I simply cannot imagine a night without the tunes boppinâ, a drink in my hand, and a hot wife to rail, much less two weeks! Itâs truly a tragedy of our generation.â