“Blimey mate! You should’ve seen the look on those copper’s mugs when they budged up to my ID only to see that I’m bloody British. They were positively gobsmacked, I tell you!”
Author Archives: Billy O'Handley
“I got them all, folks,” the actual president said to raucous cheers from his unpaid Secret Service guards.
“Fuck it, I guess my name is Seth now.”
“I understand that boys will be boys, but nobody should have to endure the agony of a student a cappella show.”
Detective Pikachu Movie Canceled After Pikachu’s Interrogation Tactics Found to Violate Geneva Conventions
“Mr. Pikachu is quite open about using his electrical powers on even innocent Squirtles. He’s a maniac.”
Sadly, Mr. Von Count was not able to meet with election board officials before the races were officially called.
At press time, President Trump had already cancelled the executive order after realizing that it would have banned slander, lying, showing partiality to the rich, and of course, letting your hair become unkempt.
“The anonymous donor was unsatisfied with the public response to the name change, and for some reason was demanding that Pope Francis declare Illinois Governor Bruce Rauner to be the Antichrist.”
“I understand that this is the nature of election season in these increasingly digital times, there are also lines that should not under any circumstances be crossed.”
A rule breach in a game of Guess Who could result in Moriarty Schapiro going on a long time out, or even getting grounded for a few days.