What Ho! A Dame Hath Initiated Courtship!
After using your scholarly advice of presenting her with my own kerchief, I roused up the manly courage to tell her that I found her to be one of the most vexing maidens I hath laid mine eyes upon.
Category Archives: Archives
Instagram Announces that They’ll Automatically Block the Story Feature From All Theatre Kids Doing Takeovers On Opening Night
A whopping 78% actually report the accounts that posted the stories for spam content
Local Econ Bro Implodes After Being Asked “Why Can’t We Just Print More Money?”
The Evanston Fire Department arrived on scene immediately after Martin literally erupted in flames.
BREAKING: Chips Ahoy! Employees Test Negative for COVID-19, Positive for Scurvy
The highly complex testing process included having blood drawn, mopping the deck and sparring with a member of a feuding ship.
This Week’s Horoscopes: Celestial Bodies Predict Future with No Evidence!
The world doesn’t make sense right now and you probably haven’t put on real pants since March—so why bother with “science” and “proof” when nothing seems to work anymore? It’s time to turn to a safe and secure way to predict your future using the method wholly endorsed by Whole Foods shoppers and the aunt who gives you crystals without consent. Find out how your monotonous days of quarantine may soon change below! Aries— Maybe the real vaccine is the
Lucky the Leprechaun Ousted From Cereal Brand After Association with IRA is Uncovered.
For years the mascot’s political leanings have been the subject of speculation given his Irish heritage.
Northwestern Students Relieved to Learn Marriage Pact Isn’t Legally Binding
While the news about the pact is being well received, it really begs the question – why would anyone think it was binding?
The Flipside Guide to: staying humble when you single-handedly put your entire hometown back in quarantine
No matter the slack you get from the Moms of Springfield Facebook group, don’t stop partying!
Man With Truck Nuts Weighs in on Masculinity Discussion
“It’s just not manly, real men are strong warriors! A man in a dress couldn’t protect his family!”
Potential Biden Cabinet: President-Elect Eyeing Skyällsborg, Jill Biden Believes Grönkulla Matches Kitchen Counters Better
“Biden confused reporters with his inability to clarify whether he was talking about a person or furniture.”