Oh God Oh Fuck: NU A Cappella Groups to Headline Dillo Day
âJesus fucking Christ, please tell me this isnât happening,â Jason Rothman (WCAS â19) said as he shook his head in dismay.
Category Archives: Entertainment
Op-Ed: College is Not Going Like Pitch Perfect Said It Would
“My voice sounds really decent on an auto-tuned studio recording. Still, the acapella groups wonât accept me, even though at least half of them sound like youâre listening to an Instagram cover of Mariah Carey.”
A Star Is Born: Northwestern Theater Major to Play âDead Body #2â On SVU
“As a matter of fact, I actually thought someone had just sent us professional photos of a terminally ill person at first glance. But then, one of our interns played a video Preston sent us of him sitting still for 12 hours and it seemed like the perfect fit. What can I say; the kidâs a natural!â
Joker Origin Movie To Reveal Characterâs Age, Real Name, And Pubic Hair Color
Rumors about the film also indicate that the Joker has two moles by his left nipple.
Endgame Ticket Sales Plummet After New Multi-Factor Authentication Requirement
âThe entire process is really very simple,â explained a confused Cinemark representative, âwe just send you a notification through the Duo app, drop you an quick email, ask you to fill out a supplementary google form, and confirm your identity through carrier pigeon. Everything is for your own security!â
Morty To Become Fourth Jonas Brother In Order To Reduce Debt
At press time, Morty had reportedly compiled a list of potential stage names for himself, with the frontrunner being âMo Jonasâ.
Jesus Cancels Another Reunion Tour
While Jesus was unavailable for comment, as he has been for the past two millennia, Pope Francis released a statement on his behalf.
Hollywood Not Yet Sexist Enough, Plans To Release â12 Angry Womenâ About A Dozen Jurors With Synced-Up Cycles
âFuck you, Sheila, I can write women,â
Nick Jonas Recieves Wedding Bill, Immediately Announces Return of the Jonas Brothers
As any divorced couple knows, a wedding isnât all fun and games though. It is only natural for a couple to look at the mountains of food, hordes of dancers, and thousands of invitations–and then immediately look to their bank statements.
Kelly Must Go Directly to Jail Again, Cannot Pass âGoâ, Cannot Collect $200
“Uh, he picked a card from Community Chest. It happens pretty frequently. Are you a real journalist?â