Police Crack Down After Student Group Found Distributing MGMT
“Experts say Jones was supplying the MGMT to students via iPod Nanos.”
Category Archives: Entertainment
Op-Ed: If You Read It Right, The Dillo Map Will Show You Where the Bodies Are
Then it hit me. This map was no perimeter for moral degradation and clinical diseases: it was a guide to discovering the hidden truths of Dillo—and human flesh.
Boyfriend Keeps Nudging Significant Other during Burlesque Show
Throughout the show, Bassera was spotted poking and nudging Hunter to see that she was in fact watching, and taking notes.
Sad Student Does Own Little Burlesque Show in His Room
“I’ve been practicing all week in front of my mirror. Let’s just say everyone’s gonna love my fireman bit,” Westwood said with an utterly pitiful wink.
A&O Presents La La Land with Jordan Horowitz
“Events like this keep me young,” said Barry Jenkins, director of the Best Picture-nominated Moonlight. “I look forward to taking in the spectacle from the audience.”
Zootopia Oscar Nomination Gives Hope to Disenfranchised Furries
“We look at Judy Hopps as a role model for a new generation of furries” said a long-practicing furry who only referred to himself as his fursona “PrideBunny.”
Turns Out Club Penguin was Muslim
Thanks to a team of crack investigators, reporters have heard directly from inside sources that, in fact, Disney-owned Club Penguin is Muslim.
Swiper Joins Tinder, Morally Conflicted
A tiny Dora sporting devil horns appeared over his right shoulder, chanting “Swiper, no swiping. Swiper, no swiping. SWIPER, NO SWIPING!”
Wolf Blitzer Shouts “Breaking News” Before Taking Shit
Members of his family have repeatedly tried to help Blitzer break his “bad habit,” but all attempts at doing so have been fruitless.
Waa-Mu Cast Dies of Dysentery
“If it’s not dysentery, it’s cholera. Or exhaustion. We even had four different potential cast members break all of their legs in separate, unrelated incidents.”