Twins Named Georgia and Alabama Opt for Name Change
“It’s like they think they’re fully autonomous people or somethin!”
Category Archives: Articles
Not To Be Outdone, Thomas the Tank Engine Writers Announce Percy is Pansexual
Percy, the lovable small green engine, will reportedly explore his newfound attractions to his fellow trains, Emily and Gordon, in a three episode arc which will culminate with, as Wagner put it, “the most passionate love-making scene, the likes of which the Island of Sodor has never seen.”
Crushes and Confessions: @NUCrush allows Kyle from your Discussion Section to Sexually Harass you Anonymously
Some of Kyle’s posts include the time he described you as “thicker than a bowl of oatmeal,” or when he said he would “straight up smash [your] ass like Meta Knight.”
Lonely Bell Pepper From Sargent Burger Tray Spotted in CAPS Waiting Room
In the waiting room, the bell pepper slice told reporters that it felt “out of place at this school” and didn’t feel a strong sense of belonging in the community.
Ask Flippy: Why Are Mommy and Daddy’s Secretary Fighting?
What’s going on Flippy? Now mommy is calling Victoria daddy’s “whore.” Maybe “whore” also means “daughter?” Because Victoria sure does call him “daddy” a lot. Is Victoria my sister?
Sonic the Hedgehog Kidnapped the Royal Baby??? (Gone Wrong) (Not Clickbait)
While we cannot currently provide video, audio, or photographic evidence that this has happened, we do have blue hairs we cut off our intern that probably look like Sonic’s luscious mane.
Mel Gibson’s Veggietales reboot to focus on how the Jews betrayed Jesus
Mel’s “singular vision” is making Veggietales into a series hyper focused on the way “those damn Jews sold out the King of Kings”.
New Dating App Matches You with People Who Had the Same Version of the Gen 4 Pokémon Games that You Did
The app only requires you to answer one question: did you have Diamond or Pearl?
Morty Admits That He Personally Reviews the Applications of Students With Fire Soundclouds
“You can get upset at me for what seems to be a blatant breach of fairness in admissions, but you can’t deny the hustle” said Shapiro.
A Flipside investigation: If you rearrange the letters of Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor, you get Northwestern hrmnaoibsdraantiiocu
Meghan Markle did not explicitly name her son after Northwestern. Duh. As anyone who has watched The Princess Diaries would know, royals have to be discreet.