Area Senior Swears this Dillo is the Dillo He Finally Gets Laid
Cornelius will have an uphill battle ahead of him—that is, in addition to losing his virginity, he also has to talk to a female for the first time.
Tag Archives: Dillo
Meghan Markle to Attend Dillo to Shirk Royal Family Responsibilities
“The last time I was this stressed was when I got a terrible registration time for winter quarter of freshman year and found out the only open classes I could take were Orgo, EA, and EECS 211.”
New Dillo Stage to Feature Live Podcasting
Mayfest released a statement this week regarding the addition: “We know that not everyone wants to listen to random bands and rappers that they sort of vaguely know, so, we decided to bring in those podcasters that you’ve been meaning to listen to but just haven’t had the time lately.”
Freshman Super Excited to Watch Dillo Through their Snapchat Camera
“The best part is probably when you zoom in so much that everything becomes blurry and you can’t even find the singer on stage anymore. What a thrill!”
Joey Bada$$ to Join 2018 Dillo Lineup
Reports from Mayfest sources indicate that Joey Badass will join Daniel Caesar, Whitney, and Young the Giant in the lineup for Dillo Day on June 2.
Armadillo Day Ranked Second Best Vermin-Themed Music Festival After Roachella
The ranking, which will be displayed right below the “5th Best Dining” award on Northwestern’s Wall of Mediocre Achievements, came as a great surprise to the campus community.
Februaryfest Forced to Cancel Winter Dillo for 17th Straight Year Due to Inclement Weather
“We take great pride in planning the largest student-run outdoor winter music festival in the country, but unfortunately, high winds, single-digit temperatures, and accumulated snow have forced us to cancel all scheduled performances.”
Jaded NU Cop Redistributing Fakes for Cheap
“You know these kids are just gonna buy a new ID after you take it from them. So why not start up a side business?”
Evanston Residents Plan Their Own Festival by the Rock to Show Us What It’s Like
The first act is scheduled to open at precisely 6:00 am on the Monday of finals week with subsequent acts performing during the Chem 103, Econ 310, and Physics 135 midterms.
Mayfest Hoping Dillo Gets Rained Out Following Joke MGMT Announcement
Most members of Mayfest have agreed that if Dillo is only rained out, they can deal with more “Fuck Mayfest” messages. One member said they had gotten used to it and even kind of missed it.