“Have a crush on Dr. Fauci? Come watch some of his press conferences with us!”
Tag Archives: Vaccine
“Because of my unbeatable toe fungus, I was the one voted out of the company.”
This new line of shampoo claims to offer the same gentle cleaning and exfoliating properties of regular shampoo, without any of the life-threatening circulatory issues.
“I feel fucking amazing,” said Jaxmaxon, whose arms, swollen from the several hundred syringe pokes he received, eclipsed every other part of his body. “This is the physique I’ve been working toward for years now.”
“Too long hath these Pfizer and Moderna knaves parried with the virus. They flash thine fancy swords and dance around in thine gilded boots, but those swine’s art COWARDS. Sir Johnson shall end it all in a single blow!”
Hey, Bradleigh Jenkins, remember me from first grade? Still think your hunky dad could beat mine?
“Desperate times call for desperate measures,” admitted Anthony Fauci in a joint statement with FDA director Stephen Hahn. “We’re not proud to be using Juul’s playbook, but damn, if they didn’t have a move or two in there.”
Playground researchers have managed to develop an experimental vaccine using top notch Crayola Magic Marker technology, reducing the risk of cooties transmission by up to 30%.