“The Oscars Don’t Care About Editing, So Neither Do I,” Says RTVF Major Not Proofreading Midterm Paper
Her professor disclosed that Nolan received a thirty percent on her midterm.
Category Archives: Entertainment
21 Savage Shotguns Entire Earl Grey Tea
“Blimey mate! You should’ve seen the look on those copper’s mugs when they budged up to my ID only to see that I’m bloody British. They were positively gobsmacked, I tell you!”
Student Joins Campus Satirical Newspaper Instead of Seeking Therapy
“I can’t get out of bed in the morning, but you can bet that I’ll have a good time riffing off of that for the Flipside,” said Chen.
Thanos Defeated After His Homophobic Tweets Resurface
“Relationships should be perfectly balanced between a man and a woman. Anything else defies the natural order of things,” read one tweet. Another read “Seeing homosexuals struggle in society does put a smile on my face”.
After Bachelor Season Opener More Male Tinder Profiles Boast “Virginity”
“To be honest, it is hard to remember what Underwood looked like,” stated Harper Cardinal, “but I do remember he was a virgin and that all of the women liked him a lot.”
It’s Official: R. Kelly Is Definitely Not Hosting The Oscars
For the time being, the Academy Awards will go on sans a host, demonstrating to audiences everywhere that the literal concept of nothingness is still preferable to R. Kelly’s presence.
Bezos’s Soon-to-be Ex-Wife Gets Divorce Papers with Free 2-Day Prime Shipping
“This is childish even for him,” said MacKenzie, “he’s turned into the Monopoly Man except with stupid aviators and weirdly muscular arms.”
Plans to Include SpongeBob in Avengers 4 Canned Following Deaths of the Only Two People Who Wanted It
A previously unreleased concept art poster shows him alongside the other heroes with the tagline, “Forget Infinity War: Thisis the most ambitious cross-over in history.”
Marvel Conspiracy Theorist Convinced Stan Lee Not Dead, Will Return in Next Avengers Movie
“This is classic Marvel: characters fake their deaths all the time. It’s just like in the first Thor when Loki seemed to die in a black hole but then returned to Asgard in the next movie.”
Six Flags Posts Students’ Midterm Grades Around Park for Fright Fest
“What really put me over the edge was a scary clown handing me my CHEM 212 grade and saying, ‘Oh no, I guess mommy’s little boy won’t be a doctor after all!’”