Compass Group Offers NU Dining Union Print-outs of NU Flipside Articles as Health Plan
Unfortunately, the articles were so life-threateningly unfunny, they are thought to have been able to transmit dysentery.
Category Archives: Local
Tragic! Sophomore Forgets Classes Are in Person, Whips Out Dick in Discussion.
We were going over Come Slowly – Eden by Dickinson, when suddenly Richard pulled it out and came fast
Close Call! North Campus Resident Narrowly Escapes Willard Party Before Hearing a Single Showtune
Chase’s “bro” and unofficial domestic partner Frad added, “And the only ‘hol they even had was Manischewitz. If I wanted to get slightly tipsy and puke up grape juice I woulda just gone to my sister’s bat Mitzvah this weekend like I was supposed to.”
Wildcat Geogame Under Fire from UN After Claiming Saxony “Part of Greater Poland”
The geogame clarified, “Bolesław I the Brave, Duke of Poland, claimed Saxony for Greater Poland in 1002.”
How to Wear a Tennis Skirt Un-Ironically
“Here are five ways to style one of Summer 2021’s hottest new trends.”
How To Feng Shui Your Freshman Common Room With One Lone Chair And 17 Ozzis
Window-facing screams “pensive philosophy major thinks they’re better than you and might be.”
Couple Clearly Attempting Water Birth In Dorm Shower
The pair, both 19 and Gemini suns, discovered they were expecting after a night of passion on the Bobb-McCulloch lounge couch, and were set on delivering the baby as naturally as possible.
Ask Flippy: How do I recover after no one responded to my canvas post with “I totally agree. The truth of that statement is definitely true and not false”?
Then I look over at Chad Chadson’s post and he has response after response. I mean come on! All he said was that women are “cool” and that we just need to “like not be sexist”. Even my TA dropped a response: “So true bestie”. Am I that irrelevant?
Local Woman Who Cried During Asynchronous Journalism Lecture on The West Wing Doing Just Fine, Why Do You Ask?
“When I tried to give her a tissue, she started crying about how Dulé Hill was underutilized. I don’t know where she’s getting all this from. She’s only seen four episodes, and it was during her eighth-grade speech and debate class.”
Local Supervillain Decides to Just Put Laser Tripwires in One Big Column in Bout of Anti-Gymnast Hatred
Rather than constructing a long hallway filled with laser tripwires pointed every which way, such that only the most skilled gymnasts can somersault their way through, Dr. Moodering has put all the lasers in one column, all pointing in a single direction. This makes it impossible for even the most limber of heroes to circumvent the lasers and is an offensive jab at the gymnastics community.