A candlelight vigil is scheduled for this Wednesday to commemorate the tragedy.
“I really wasn’t interested in Greek life because it’s inherently problematic and built on a history of racism and misogyny. But also like everyone signed up and I totally didn’t want to feel like a loser.”
“Sure, she’s not holding a solo front and center, but the ongoing keg stand and Jell-O shots behind the group kinda break the illusion that this was just a sober, intimate get-together among friends and also forty of their closest, shirtless fraternity friends.”
Her itinerary includes nine drinks, three frats, two random boys, and one trip to Lisa’s to end the night.
“THE UNANOINTED SHALL BE BROUGHT FORTH UNTO US FOR JUDGEMENT. THEIR TORMENT IN LIMBO WILL SEE THEM REWARDED SO SAYETH ASMODEUS, RUSH CHAIR.”
The report that Beta Beta Beta is gay has caused varied responses across the Northwestern community.
While her attitude wasn’t particularly undesirable, members involved in recruiting were quick to notice their authenticity and removed her from their lists of prospective bids.
“The subjectivity of the selection process as it exists today endorses the objectification of women. Weigh-ins will help give us a more objective way of judging recruits, hopefully leveling the playing field.”
After an intense Yik Yak fight with the cross-recruiting bastards at Sherman Ave, the bid lists for Flipside fraternity Tappa Tappa Keg and corresponding sorority Delta Delta Delta Delta were leaked today.
Diary, please don’t judge me. I’m just soooo frakin nervous! Like, what if they don’t like the color of my hair, or the style of my clothes… Or the fact that my left boob is 3x bigger than my right boob!