Monthly Archives: November 2020

Pfizer Reports Vaccine Effective For 90% of People! Other 10% Contract Chlamydia.

Over the last 8 months, the world has anxiously awaited the development of a cure for COVID-19. However, Pfizer has announced a new vaccine that successfully protects 90% of all people who take it against COVID-19. While many see this as the end-all to coronavirus, others are skeptical over the efficacy of the vaccine. “Ever since I signed up to test the vaccine, my balls have been itching”, said Jay Mast, who asked to remain anonymous, “at first I thought

Local Frat Bro Clarifies His Body Enters “Heterostasis” When He Goes to Sleep

In an official statement released last week, a local frat brother has clarified that his body enters “heterostasis” when he sleeps. Thaddeus St. John, a second-year member of Hetta Hetta Rho, put out the official statement last Tuesday after his biology seminar. “It has come to my attention that most people enter a ‘homo stasis’ when they fall asleep,” St. John wrote in the statement, which he posted to his Instagram story on Tuesday afternoon. “I just want to clarify

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