Detective Pikachu Conveniently Loses Bodycam Footage to “Static”
“All we know is we have a sombrero-wearing pineapple-duck who looks like he stuck a fork in a light socket. Maybe we’ll never know the full story.”
Category Archives: Entertainment
Russian Roulette: Disney Announces Every 6th Endgame Screening Will Play Aladdin
Despite the backlash, Disney executives don’t seem to be worried. “What’re they gonna do, not watch a Disney movie? We own everything.”
Ask Flippy: How Did A$AP Ferg Fill Out His Name on ScanTrons When There Is Not a Corresponding Dollar Sign Bubble?
How did A$AP Ferg fill out his name on ScanTrons when there isn’t a corresponding dollar sign bubble? He must have taken a standardized test at some point in his life, right?
Chair Show Very Popular
“Only time and weekly episodes at 9pm EST will tell Who Will Get Chair, which, as far as Flipside investigators can tell, is the premise of British Chair Show. That, and gratuitous rape scenes that fanboys insist are ‘for the realism.'”
Oh God Oh Fuck: NU A Cappella Groups to Headline Dillo Day
“Jesus fucking Christ, please tell me this isn’t happening,” Jason Rothman (WCAS ’19) said as he shook his head in dismay.
Op-Ed: College is Not Going Like Pitch Perfect Said It Would
“My voice sounds really decent on an auto-tuned studio recording. Still, the acapella groups won’t accept me, even though at least half of them sound like you’re listening to an Instagram cover of Mariah Carey.”
A Star Is Born: Northwestern Theater Major to Play “Dead Body #2” On SVU
“As a matter of fact, I actually thought someone had just sent us professional photos of a terminally ill person at first glance. But then, one of our interns played a video Preston sent us of him sitting still for 12 hours and it seemed like the perfect fit. What can I say; the kid’s a natural!”
Joker Origin Movie To Reveal Character’s Age, Real Name, And Pubic Hair Color
Rumors about the film also indicate that the Joker has two moles by his left nipple.
Endgame Ticket Sales Plummet After New Multi-Factor Authentication Requirement
“The entire process is really very simple,” explained a confused Cinemark representative, “we just send you a notification through the Duo app, drop you an quick email, ask you to fill out a supplementary google form, and confirm your identity through carrier pigeon. Everything is for your own security!”
Morty To Become Fourth Jonas Brother In Order To Reduce Debt
At press time, Morty had reportedly compiled a list of potential stage names for himself, with the frontrunner being “Mo Jonas”.