âUncle Bob just drinks consistently throughout dinner, but occasionally he says âCheers!â and clinks his wine glass and his vodka tonic together before downing both,â says Brenda.
Your Uncle Luis then stood up and took away the bottle of wine and is said to have reassured the room that this was Lydiaâs first time drinking since giving birth to your baby cousin, Tommy.
“Basically, if you bring up anything except the weather heâll start shaking uncontrollably.â
âNorthwesternâs overreliance on outside zones cannot continue into the second decade of the 21st century.â
Weâre not going to let little things like âjournalistic integrityâ and ârestraining ordersâ stop us.
The Doily will still publish online every day, but print editions will only come out once every six years due to editorsâ commitments to crocheting cute little lace covers for every single copy.
“I suppose I canât say anythingâs wrong…no, I literally canât say anythingâs wrong.â
Americans rejoiced last week as new study conducted by Harvard University concluded that cocaine served as an excellent alternative to mundane bodily tasks such as eating, sleeping, blinking, breathing, and having a pulse. âAfter we blew through all of the university grant money on low quality blow, we figured we should probably write some of it downâ said Isaac Conklin, head researcher on the project. âOur intern Carl was more than happy to let us pump a near-lethal amount of
President Morton Shapiro, after consulting the University Board, released in a tweet that by 2020, Northwestern will be officially renamed âAvoiding UChicago.â
âHer body may be slowly eroding, but thatâs a-okay, because she definitely doesnât have Strep!â said Dr. Lou.