From the Archives: Brangelina Might Be Divorcing, But At Least John Mulaney and Anna Marie Tendler are Together
“The bond that John and Anna Marie share is akin to that of a chemical bond between two francium atoms — unbreakable.”
Category Archives: Articles
10 Fall Sweaters that Say “The Crop Yield is Scarce and My Eldest Daughter’s Dowry is Not Enough to Attract a Viable Suitor”
“This trendy sweater can come in an array of colors and patterns to nail your socioeconomic struggles to a tee. Warm tones give off a sense of tension between the ugly, puppy-kicking, businessy businessman and the sensitive farmhand that Eloise has fallen truly, madly deeply in love with.”
Op-Ed: Why I decided to let my pre-med friend perform my appendectomy in the Slivka common room
She so brilliantly did a quick WebMD search for me.
Ask Flippy: Help! I Can’t Write Essays Anymore Without the White Noise of Violent Coughing. What Should I Do?
But what’s even crazier is that it seems like my work is at its peak when the coughs around me are particularly nasty. Or in simpler terms: the wetter the better!
As Thanksgiving nears, uncles everywhere read a balanced variety of news, re-evaluate political beliefs, and challenge biases; nation heals
Older relatives across the United States are expanding their horizons.
Ask Flippy: Did I Get a Registration Hold Because I Didn’t Wish Morty a Happy Halloween?
You fucked up. You really fucked up.
New study by Nestle-Kroger-Mills-Kraft-Heinz conglomerate finds shoveling sugar into mouth at relentless pace actually good for you
The research, fondly dubbed the “Sweet Saccharin Study” undoes decades of anti-dextrose discourse. Doctors everywhere are reading the Sweet Saccharin Study with bewilderment, quitting their jobs, and wondering how they got it so wrong.
Op-Ed: I can’t rewatch Pitch Perfect anymore without envisioning the Barden Bellas being that one a cappella group echoing into the night from Kresge
The scene where the new a cappella recruits dance in the amphitheater is replaced by visions of upperclassmen belting off-key by the Willard piano. The Riff-Off just makes me think of prime time at Norbucks.
8 Neutral Things to Say Around Your Significant Other’s Conservative Parents That Will Still Get You Invited on the Yacht
“Poor people should get money…………………………… if they earn it.”
Ask Flippy: Is Kidnapping and Arson Going Too Far for a Guaranteed Win at Bob’s Trivia?
“You and all our readers know that I take a particularly hard stance on crime — more specifically, that it’s often the best way to make some good of a bad situation!”