Morty has seemingly become obsessed in the days since with ensuring NU continues to move up the rankings and has covered the walls of his room with charts, graphs, andā¦ other things, trying to, umm, āanalyzeā what allowed us to move up.
The NBA Playoffs erupted into chaos Tuesday after a referee dished out a technical foul to Claire Rogers, a pregnant woman in the stands, for āhiding the basketball.ā The incident, which has already been deemed the greatest misunderstanding sincethe Salem Witch Trials, began in the third quarterafter an erroneous pass found its way into the stands. Sources report that as the ref turned his head, he noticed a round woman whispering to her stomach over and over. He immediately blew
Urkel has been locked 24/7 in a small, heavily guarded cell in a classified location, but his lawyers have reported that heās enthusiastic that heāll get off because āthereās always the next episodeā.
āA dināt mean tae cause no āarm. A was jesā āavinā a bad dae!”
āNo way Iām going over there,ā Silva told reporters. āOld Man Jenkins is scary. He kills boys that sneak into his yard and cooks them into a stew.ā
In light of recent events and the current political climate, Southern landmark, Big Alās Guns and Lemonade, has announced a controversial decision to ban the sale of all firearms to all people younger than 14. Viewed by some critics as bending to political pressure, Big Al himself announced that lemonade sales will still be unrestricted despite the new firearms policy. āI find this here new regulation to be classic liberal bullshit propaganda,ā stated Chuck Horowitz, a 14-year-old high school freshman.
āHe just kept saying āthe p-value is above 5%, we just donāt have enough evidence to reject the null.āā
The man will forego the typical commencement address to the graduating class in favor of walking silently amongst the rows of sitting students, placing a pale, scarred hand on the forehead of those he selects.
Every single person in Norris today is blissfully ignorant of what they, and all humanity, will soon experience.
āIn our office, we always strive to make our tours inclusive, and today, that means including all those prospective students and their families that only understand forward-spoken English.ā