So Your Marriage Pact Match Is in McCormick. Now What?
Your grief overcomes you and you fall to your knees. Itâs so Joever.
Tag Archives: McCormick
Ask Flippy: How Do I Convert The Shepard Egg Chairs Into Sex Swings?
All you need is a couple extra straps (courtesy of Pitney Bowes) and a plastic knife from the dining hall to carve out a hole for the head.
98% of Chemistry Classes Fail Bechdel Test
I donât think a conversation passes the Bechdel test if a man says, âbut actually,â every time the professor or I try to get a word in.
McCormick Student Retakes Rice Purity Test, Finds Score Went Up
âWhen I came here, I had a purity score of 100,â attested Annie Eisenbower, McCormick â23, âbut when I changed into my jammies, after a spirited debate about the role of metaphysics in the world of meta-metaphysics with some colleagues, it went up to 102.â
Man Disappointed Woman Wonât Take Time to Read His Ironic Shirt
âNot one woman has pointed at the shirt and laughed, and that usually happens no matter what I am wearing!â
Desperate McCormick Senior Accepts âFood Engineeringâ Position at KFC
Jones stated that his new downtown Toledo office, conveniently located 15 minutes from his childhood home, will provide âan unparalleled experience in the ever-expanding field of deep fry technologyâ.
Area Student Asks Advisor If He Can Drop All Four Classes
âI had to draw the line when he wanted to bail out of Math 220,â Kraps continued. âAt that point, he was basically in SESP!”
New Gender Studies Class Introduced: Dating in McCormick
âThe class begins with the abstract: what a relationship is and why someone would want one. Later on we get into the nitty gritty details, like how to hold hands and the science of maintaining eye contact.â
McCormick Student Gets Laid, Earning Honorary Doctorate
“Mr. Emersonâs heroic actions epitomize Whole-Brain Engineering.â
University Renames North and South Campus as Left Brain Campus and Right Brain Campus
âWho are we fooling with this âone cohesive campusâ bullshit?â, added an anonymous tour guide.