One Book One Northwestern Budget Reduced to One Dollar One Cent
Consternation and significant pushback from angry students on campus calling for a reversal was⊠actually nowhere to be seen.
New Drug Surfaces on Campus: âWhite Male Discussion Section Confidenceâ
âWhite Male Discussion Section Confidence,â better known on the street as âthe devilâs advocate,â surfaced on Northwesternâs campus right around midterm season and has spread like wildfire.
NU Student Dresses Up As Politician Dressed Up In Blackface
âHunterâs political commentary on Justin Trudeau circa 2001 may have offended some of our peers,â stated Smithâs roommate Brock Brunson, âbut how is he supposed to be held accountable for his actions AND have a wild Halloweekend?!â
Dorm Room Party Just Six Guys Playing A âBop-Itâ
âI think I misunderstood when he told me it was âgonna be a bop,ââ said Mendoza, âthey were all really into it too. When I tried to leave, one guy put his hand on my chest and told me âdonât stop the bop.â”
Whole Foods Announces New Margarine Substitute: âI Canât Believe Itâs Not âI Canât Believe Itâs Not Butterââ
âFirst margarine and now this? I didnât serve two years in the military, get dishonorably discharged, and move back in with my parents just for someone to confuse me with a quadruple negative!â
Op Ed: If Improv is About Saying âYesâ Then Why Did Every Group Say âNoâ to Me?
As any new Northwestern student who googles âwhat is improvâ five minutes before their audition knows, the only rule to the Chicago-founded comedic art form is saying âyes.â But if thatâs the case, then why did every improv group on campus say ânoâ to me? Iâm talking Titanic, Mee-Ow, ODB, The Bix, even the Panini Players. They all said âno.” I didnât even get a single callback. I say theyâre a bunch of hypocrites. If they were really committed to the
A Look Back: 15 Years Later, Poop Still Funny
“Fifteen years later, Dr. Parks has officially earned his doctorate in scatology, or in laymanâs terms, the study of poop.”
8th Generation Northwestern Legacy Student Just Spits on Application to Get In
With early decision deadlines looming, Jacob Weinberg Schapiro Ryan Fieldhouse McWilliecat VII, an 8th generation legacy, simply spat on his Northwestern University application, causing him to be accepted immediately. Admissions officers were amazed, calling McWilliecatâs application âoriginalâ, âhighly personalâ, and âphlegmyâ. âYou really canât get more unique than Jacobâs application,â said Leah Gascoigne, head of admissions. âHere we were, holding a physical part of Jacob. We really got a good idea of who he was, and immediately admitted him; even
Netflix Orders 6-Episode Stand Up Series Showcasing GroupMe Comedians
Whereas Jeremy describes his humor as âobservational, yet edgy,â most in his group chat describe it as âblandâ and âunnecessary.â This has resulted in many members muting the GroupMe conversation.
From the Archives–Op-Ed: Charlie Chaplin should Stick to Silent Movies, Keep his Political Views out of Talkies
This film is his first âtalkieâ and boy does he talkie a lot.