Schill Announces “Operation Fat Goose”; “We Are Going to Fatten the Geese”
“If the geese aren’t fat, they’re useless.”
Category Archives: Local
Is Boofing Together The New Brunch Date? Our Sources Say No!
With cuffing season upon us, it’s more important than ever to have some good date ideas on hand. But finding something creative and fun is hard. Coffee dates are nice, but do you really want to risk shitting your pants from all the caffeine? That’s what we thought. You could do brunch dates, but then again you’re not a millennial with a failing relationship (we assume, no judgment though). That’s why The Flipside sent out a little poll to
DJ Commando Dies Following Sexual Big Bird Tweets
One day, everyone will forget about the Big Birdussy.
“Chicken And Boba” And Other Creative Names For Your Chicken And Boba Shop
In light of the opening of “Chicken and Boba,” the new Chicken and Boba spot in Norris with quite possibly the most creative name of any shop ever to be named, here are several other creative names for your very own Chicken and Boba place.
Ambitious Theatre Major To Put On Unabomber Musical
he project, tentatively titled “Blow Me,” will be a jukebox musical that covers the true story of Ted Kaczynski sending two homemade bombs to Northwestern University in 1978 and 1979.
NUFB Says Mayo Tub Fight Night “Not Hazing, Just Business”
Despite outcry from many current and former students, NUFB claims that its most recent scandal — Mayo Tub Fight Night — was “not hazing, just business”.
From The Future: University President Finally Emerges From Deep Freezer After Ill-Fated Chill With Schill Event
Schill rejoins a modern faculty comprised primarily of AI lecturers, sentient Lakefill geese and tenure-track professors kept alive on a combination of virgin blood and spite.
“I Pivoted”: The Moment Offset’s Dillo DJ Realized Northwestern Was A PWI
To save the day, he turned to one of his playlists titled “Tighty Whities,” a term he created to describe songs that white people, who still use the word “tight,” think are “tight.”
“This Is My Dream School It’s Sooo Beautiful Here,” Class Of ’27 Commit Posts On Snapchat After Taking Picture Of A Particularly Nice Path
“This is my dream school it’s sooo beautiful here,” incoming Weinberg freshman Meadow Deering posted to her Snapchat, accompanied by a photo of a particularly nice path next to Norris.
Investigation Uncovers University President Michael Schill’s Spotify Account Featuring Playlists Titled “songs to listen to while my administration guts student org funding <3" and "sCHILL vibes"
Many students were indignant after one of his playlists was revealed to be named “Songs to listen to while my admin guts student org funding <3.” The playlist included songs such as “Anti-Hero” by Taylor Swift and “Bad” by Michael Jackson.