Iran Releases List of 52 American Cultural Sites to Bomb, 43 Burger King Locations, Other 9 Jimmy John’s
Some of America’s most coveted cultural traditions find their roots in a handful of these Burger King locales.
Category Archives: World
In First Sign Of Progress, Local Kindergartners And Tree Squirrels Agree To Temporary Thanksgiving Ceasefire
The conflict most likely started when Jeremy Jones – the third-stickiest member of his kindergarden class – accidentally wiped his boogers inside the tree where Snuggles usually stores his acorns.
Whole Foods Announces New Margarine Substitute: “I Can’t Believe It’s Not ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter’”
“First margarine and now this? I didn’t serve two years in the military, get dishonorably discharged, and move back in with my parents just for someone to confuse me with a quadruple negative!”
Sonic the Hedgehog Kidnapped the Royal Baby??? (Gone Wrong) (Not Clickbait)
While we cannot currently provide video, audio, or photographic evidence that this has happened, we do have blue hairs we cut off our intern that probably look like Sonic’s luscious mane.
Detective Pikachu Conveniently Loses Bodycam Footage to “Static”
“All we know is we have a sombrero-wearing pineapple-duck who looks like he stuck a fork in a light socket. Maybe we’ll never know the full story.”
Urkel Found Looking Ashamed at Notre Dame Ruins: “Did I Do That?”
Urkel has been locked 24/7 in a small, heavily guarded cell in a classified location, but his lawyers have reported that he’s enthusiastic that he’ll get off because “there’s always the next episode”.
International Student From Scotland Pulls Plex Fire Alarm: “It Reminds Me Of The Music Back Home”
“A din’t mean tae cause no ‘arm. A was jes’ ‘avin’ a bad dae!”
Post Malone Ascends Beyond This Plane of Existence After Showering For The First Time
“I never thought this would happen, dude,” lamented Burt McDover, who looked after Post Malone’s head lice. “Posty said he just wanted to try taking a quick shower because all his buddies did it every day. It’s the newest trend, you know?”
Something Happens in United Kingdom; No One Understands It
The liberal party had reason to be chuffed with the big argy-bargy over the EU turning into a big bowl of codswallop with May’s failure to pass a Brexit divvy plan 432-202.
Meghan Markle to Attend Dillo to Shirk Royal Family Responsibilities
“The last time I was this stressed was when I got a terrible registration time for winter quarter of freshman year and found out the only open classes I could take were Orgo, EA, and EECS 211.”