Slutty Ibuprofen Bottle Must Have Been Passed Around The Whole Third Floor Of Bobb By Now
The bottle had never tried anything like this before college, it said.
Tag Archives: Bobb
Obit: Local Student Found Dead After Being on Hold with Residential Services About Mold in Bobb for 17 Hours
“By the time it went to voicemail sixteen hours later, spores were already growing out of her corpse.”
Dad Encourages Black Mold Growth in House to Create Dorm Experience for Quarantined Freshman Scheduled to Live in Bobb
“Every day I hose down the walls. Then I turn on the heat on low, so we can marinate in the humidity.”
Bobb Resident Develops Superpowers After Showering Without Shoes
Bobb resident Sean Heckerson has acquired the ability to transform into a radioactive stink bug by using sheer willpower.
Bobb residents given free posters of newly renovated Welsh-Ryan Arena to cover up patches of mold
“A glossy poster of the $110 million renovated arena makes my chronic cough entirely worth it,” said Bobb resident Jason McKeen.
Northwestern Professors Now Selling PowerPoint Ad Space to Close Budget Gap
Schapiro insisted that selling ad space is not mandatory. However, his rule that those who did not comply would have to spend a night as a Bobb RA has made PowerPoint ads quite popular among professors.
Bobb Students Discover “Throw-Up Holes” Actually Called Sinks
Freshmen were shocked to find out these conveniently located containers weren’t designed for their puking needs.
Hair in Communal Shower Drain Becomes Sentient, Terrorizes Students
Later that night, students began to report sightings of a “giant, writhing, spider-like creature” near the Bobb recreation room.
Bobb to Release “Eau de Bobb” Luxury Fragrance
Local Bobb residents who were given a special look at the fragrance also speak to its exquisite indescribability
University Renames North and South Campus as Left Brain Campus and Right Brain Campus
“Who are we fooling with this ‘one cohesive campus’ bullshit?”, added an anonymous tour guide.