I found the perfect rainbow tube top at Urban this summer. Ever since then, I’ve been looking for the right pair of funky shorts, to no avail.
Tag Archives: Beer
“Join our movement today and reject the orb-obsessed mainstream.”
The whale was reportedly seen going up to students, taking pictures with them, then asking, “you got some booze I can bum off you,” in the deepest voice he could muster.
“We always look for ways to offer students the best studying experience, and we hope this new initiative will allow students to get some work done with friends in a casual setting,” said Head Librarian Donna Peters.
“Sure, she’s not holding a solo front and center, but the ongoing keg stand and Jell-O shots behind the group kinda break the illusion that this was just a sober, intimate get-together among friends and also forty of their closest, shirtless fraternity friends.”
“We think that by drinking Pilsner and Rauchbier, everyone will get to experience the exquisite taste of what fraternity life has to offer. It’s essentially an upgrade from piss to something actually delightful.”
He then proceeded to turn on the shower to wash off all the excess beer that had dribbled down his neck and chest.
The freshman Economics major, who is looking for a low-sodium but flavor-filled cracker, hopes to start the school year off right with the ideal cheesy snack.
“This is GREAT news!” said Weinberg sophomore George Philburn, Bobb resident. “It’s such a chore to have to walk all the way into Evanston to get some booze. Now I can get hammered before my Orgo lecture. That should really help the information set in.”
“The race for padding resumés with bullshit positions has never been more intense,” said Neil Mantle, Allison’s Area Coordinator. “We were afraid something like this might happen eventually.”